Beautiful

Beautiful
By: Illusion of the Mirror


Sakura smiled fondly to herself as she sat cross-legged beneath her favorite tree. This was her absolute favorite place in the whole world. It was on a hill overlooking the entire village and faced the west so that when the sun set, one could see every color perfectly until the sun finally sank where the eye could not follow.

It had been nearly two years since Naruto left for his further training, and she waited patiently every day for his return. He was her brother, her comrade, and one of her closest friends. Having him so far away left an emptiness inside that could not be filled by material things or enjoyable experiences. True, his tendencies to grate on her patience could not be ignored, but she cared for him deeply, and his absence only strengthened that care.

Stray tendrils of her loosely braided bangs lightly floated in front of her moist eyes. She watched a flock of birds fly off toward the sinking sun and wished more than anything to be one of them. They were so beautiful; the way the light reflected off their wings in hues of greens and blues. They were free from cares, woes, and deadlines. They were free. They were beautiful.

Though she resisted, her eyes brimmed over and a single glistening tear trailed down her rosy cheek to drip off onto the soft green grass below. Words could not explain, nor could they mend, the pain she was feeling. How she longed to be beautiful.

She had often received compliments from relatives telling her how mature and lovely she had become, but Sakura didn’t feel beautiful. She felt weak, insignificant, and plain. It was the pain of being left behind by the person she had admired most. The pain of being abandoned despite the immense amount of feeling she had expressed. She had begged him to stay, but it was not enough.

That had broken her. It had shattered her into a million shards of what she used to be and she had had no idea where to begin in picking up the pieces. But she was working on that; slowly rebuilding the heart she had once had.

Her friends had been so careful around her. There wasn’t a place that she went that she could not find a shoulder to lean on for strength. They felt sorry for her. True, she appreciated their willingness to support her, but she resented their pity; resented the fact that she warranted it. But no matter how many kind words were spent on her, she could never feel worth it. She never felt as though they were true.

A cool autumn breeze rustled the drying leaves of her tree and brought the familiar scent of burning wood. She lifted the back of her hand to her cheek and brushed away the trail that had been left there. The sun was setting and the clouds were outlined in pinks and oranges. It was a beautiful sight that only drew another solitary teardrop from downcast eyes.

She had taken down her full-length mirror. She had removed the looking glass from the hallway. She had given away her compact and make-up collection. She just could not face her reflection anymore. It was painful. Her parents could not understand, nor did they even try. To the rest of the world, she appeared fine. She appeared content. But she was wilting inside.

She hated the girl in the mirror; the girl that had been contented with mere scraps from the boy she had given everything to. She hated how this girl had allowed herself to become so lost; so broken. She hated the fact that this girl could never heal. She hated her neediness, her hesitance, and her melancholy. How could anyone like her be beautiful?

As another breeze stirred the satiny grass, she recalled how close she had become to the others during Naruto’s absence. Even Ino had become cordial. She had found a steady support network in Tenten, Hinata, and Ino. They took care of her as she took care of them. They had brought a smile to her face on several occasions. And she loved them so very much. But they still had no idea about the pain that she hid behind her aqua eyes. Only one person had ever detected it.

She remembered how he had so soothingly comforted her with his kind words that were full of hope. He never gave up on her, even when she was in her lowest of slumps. She was his angel, after all.

But he never took advantage of her grief and pain. While the rest of the world happily went about their business blindly believing that she was alright, he had stayed back and helped her stand. He put his dreams, his ambitions, and his feelings on hold so that he could help nurse her back to health.

When he had found her that day standing on the edge of the cliff, a rope tied to the strongest branch of her favorite tree and limply lying around her neck, resting on her shoulders, he had captured her in his arms and held her as she poured her bitter tears into him; all the while weeping with her. If he hadn’t come, she would have ended the pain in the most final way possible.

From that day on, he had made it his life’s mission to not only protect her, but fix her. She had always known that he had “loved” her, but the tenderness that he showed her after that moment was entirely different. It was unconditional adoration and his eyes eternally plead for her to want to live again. He never pushed her into more than that. He never once brought up how he much he wished that she would return his deep affection for her.

He treated her so well. She hated and loved it, just as she hated and loved herself. But she remembered the many days they had spent together studying, training, reading, talking, or even napping together under that tree. He was not only her closest friend, but her window to hope. He had been the only one that was able to help her pick up the pieces.

Once again, Sakura looked out to the horizon. The sun would sink behind the hills very soon and plunge the world into night once more. She leaned back against the trunk of her leafy friend and closed her eyes to listen to the wind unhindered. But another sound caught her attention. Her eyes snapped open and she looked over her shoulder to see him coming up the path. When he met her eyes, a wide smile split his features.

“Sakura-chan, I knew that I would find you here.” He approached and took a seat next to her, but far enough away she would have to stretch out to touch him. That’s how it was, and Sakura was glad that he was willing to do that for her despite the fact she knew she wasn’t worth it.

“Hello, Lee. What are you up to?”

He sighed and rubbed his right wrist. “I was training with Neji. I was so sure that I could beat him this time, but…well; it is just a minor set-back. I know that one day I will be strong enough.” He sat up straighter and smiled broadly. “The five hundred one armed push-ups that I did as penalty should be enough to help make me stronger!”

Sakura laughed heartily and Lee’s smile only intensified. “You and you’re self-made rules.” She then turned toward him and leaned back on her palms. “I believe in you, Lee. You will beat Neji one day.”

Lee’s smile became more pensive as he watched the last tip of the sun hide behind the horizon. Sakura sighed and closed her eyes. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Lee turned his gaze to Sakura. He knew what that word meant to her. He knew her pain and how she felt that it was a word reserved for the things she admired most. “Yes,” he answered with feeling. “Yes it is.”

“Lee? Do you ever wish that you were a bird?”

Lee was a little confused by the question, but thought carefully before he answered. “I have before…but if I were a bird, then I could not do many things that I can now. Birds cannot be shinobi.”

Sakura thought for a moment and then opened her eyes. “That’s true. But birds are so free. They’re so beautiful.”

There was that word again. Lee leaned forward and shifted his position until he was right next to her. “But, Sakura,” he spoke softly in a near whisper. “You are already beautiful.”

This caused Sakura to turn and look right into his dark brown eyes. She could feel an unsettling sensation welling up in the pit of her stomach as his sincere words melted her heart. “Your words are far too kind, Lee.”

“But they are true.” He then reached out and took her hand into his own. “Do not ever forget that. You are beautiful.”

Sakura glanced down at his hand around hers and the feeling in the pit of her stomach spread to the rest of her body. She could feel the energy coursing through the connection between the two of them. She became acutely aware of every nerve that his skin was touching and an electrical buzz seemed to shiver up her arm and out into every other cell of her body. It was a feeling completely foreign to her and much to her surprise she felt her heartbeat pick up and her breathing deepen.

She looked up from her lap locked eyes with him. His face was full of the love and admiration that he had always had for her. He had put that all on hold for two years, but now he couldn’t hide it any longer. His hand gripped hers tighter and then traveled up her arm, leaving a cool trail the whole way despite the warmth of his touch.

Sakura looked down and stopped his hand at her elbow by taking it into her own. Turning it palm up, she drew shaky fingers to the top of his white bindings and began slowly unwrapping them.

His eyes were wide as the tape fell limply away from his arm and hit the soft grass; his many scars now exposed to the crisp air. He watched with utter fascination as she reached for his other hand to do the same and sat completely still, almost not breathing, as though one movement would spook her away like a delicate little fawn.

When she had finished, she cupped each of his hands in her own and gazed up into his eyes.

“…I know,” he said with a twinge of disgust. “They are so very ugly…I just…”

Sakura’s eyes softened and she lowered her face to the palm of his right hand, tenderly placing her lips on one of the most prominent white scars. Slowly, and with gentle determination, she proceeded to lift and drop tender kisses all the way up to the very last scar. She then looked up to meet his astonished, misty eyes. “No, Lee, they’re absolutely beautiful.”

~ o ~